I Don't Even Know Where to Begin...

Today's visit with Kirby has been so frustrating and painful.  He has continued to go down even from yesterday as far as his activity level is concerned.  He is eating and is hydrated but after sleeping with us for a couple of hours, he was as unresponsive and lethargic as when we first brought him to Starkville IN SPITE OF all of his kidney values being good and all other lab results being good.  The vets are as concerned as we are and immediately scooped him up and ran some more blood tests.  We are still waiting to get the last test results at 6:00 p.m. 

We decided to try a tactic that I used to use with Lynda when she was little and having seizures.  Sometimes if she looked like she was about to go into seizures, we could take her riding in the car (toward the hospital) and sometimes it would relax her to the point of stopping the onset of a seizure.  Kirby loves to ride with his head out the window with the air in his face.  So, we asked the vet if we could take him out and ride around the block to see if he would respond to one of his favorite activities.  When we first got into the car, I rolled down my window and nothing.  He was limp.  I cuddled him and we rode around while I cried and Russ and I told him what a good puppy he was and how much we loved him.

Then he kind of moved toward Russ just a little and I put Kirby in Russ's lap.  Russ rolled down the window and Kirby leaned toward the wind.  Then, he leaned more and put his paw out on the car door.  He was obviously enjoying being in the wind on the driver's side.  We were ecstatic .  When we got back to the vet hospital, we could tell Kirby was kind of confused like he had thought we were going home.  Russ was carrying him in and he peed on him.  We think it was not an accident.  LOL

The vet met us at the door and was waiting to hear the verdict.  YES, he had responded!  She was excited, too.  We videoed Kirby walking around the room and during the time he was exploring the space, he would cross his legs and fall over or he was just loose his balance and fall.  The vets had not seen this with him before (and neither had we).  They are running another liver test right now because that can cause some encephalopathy problems.  Also, there is the possibility of mini-strokes from blood clots.  They suggested a CAT scan of the brain but we are already thousands of dollars into this and there is nothing that the test would give us as far as treatment options.  This is heartbreaking to see him be so animated and energetic two days ago.  We wish if that was an anomaly that it had not happened because it gave us such hope.  We are in the situation now of trying to make the best decisions about his care.  Would it help to just get him out of the hospital environment and home?  Is this as good as it is going to get?  Russ and I don't mind anything that involves taking care of him.  It doesn't matter to use that he might not be house trained anymore.  It doesn't matter that he might spend most of his time sleeping.  It just matters if he is not living a quality life and right now...we still don't know.

If yesterday was two steps forward and one step back...I don't know what we would call today.  Laying in the floor with Kirby and crying like a little kid.  That's the kind of day it's been.  When we get home tonight, from the time we brought Kirby to Starkville until tonight, we will have driven the same number of hours as from Booneville to Fresno, California where Kristopher lives.  Yes, we are tired but the vets have reinforced why we come every day.  We see things about our Kirby that they don't see in ICC.  He has two behaviors.  We knew that.  Just like any other member of the family, we are most comfortable and relaxed with those who love us most. 

We are trusting God to give us the answers we need to make these really difficult decisions and we are asking for your prayers and guidance for the vets who are working here at MSU Vet school with Kirby.  They are compassionate and talented people whom we have come to appreciate and respect.


7:15 p.m.  UPDATE

We are still in the private waiting room waiting to hear the results from the last liver test they did.  Unfortunately everything else came back fine which is good but doesn't help us.  Don't really know what to expect from this last one.  The last liver test was good.  That means there is no reason that he is having the differences from two days ago.  Except he IS so the vet is going to go back to doing exact medications he had then including the antibiotic in case he has an infection that isn't showing.  Then we are going to bring him home tomorrow afternoon to see if he's just depressed and wants to be home.  We will take him back on Monday to have them run all of the kidney tests to see how hydrated he is and how his BUN and creatinine are holding up with the change in hydration.  It's all we know to try and the vets agreed.  They think he might have had small strokes today causing the falling but we aren't willing to chase that because there are too many things that could cause the same symptoms right now in him.  So, this will give us a better picture of what we are working with I think to get him home in his environment and see how he responds.